'Stars in her Eyes'

She lived brightly, loved fiercely, and felt deeply about the things that brought her joy. Every night she looked to the stars and smiled because she knew that she could always depend on them to be there. She whispered her secrets to them, she laughed and danced and wept between them. 

She was a star in her own right, and everyone around her swore that she spent so much time looking at the stars that they had found themselves a home in her eyes. But then she stopped. Stopped laughing, stopped dancing, slowly at first, but it became more obvious when one day she just … stopped.

She faded so much that even the light in her eyes stopped shining. Her friends were there for her, and while they tried to help and understand they couldn’t help but see the person that she used to be. They couldn’t bring back the girl who once had stars in her eyes.

For a long while she was quiet, and perhaps a little lonely even when she was around those who she loved, there was a distance between them that wasn’t there before.

One night she drove, far enough away that she could see even more stars than what she could at home, and sat there all night, pouring her heart out to the galaxy. She admitted to herself and the stars she loved that she wasn’t the girl she used to be, that things in her mind had changed, and she thought more about things that to many people didn’t matter. 

When she returned she was still quiet, but she understood herself. She still could not bring herself to pretend to be someone she wasn’t anymore, but slowly, she started to cherish the days when she could be the person who danced and laughed and loved as brightly as she once had. There were times when she couldn’t, so she was patient with herself and those days were her days. If her days meant that she was alone for a while, with nothing but her thoughts and her fears, then she would take those days one at a time. She took every day as it came, and cherished the good days, most of all when she was having a bad day. There were days in the middle, The Grey Days, she called them. These were the days where she was quietly grateful for the ability to just go through the motions, and stick to a routine.
She is given advice and asked questions and wishes that it could be that simple, so she listens to what others think will help her and keeps working on what really works for her.

In time, she learns about herself and what works for her. It was hard, and tiring, and she made a lot of mistakes, but she found the balance between the person she wanted to be and the person she is.

So slowly, the girl with the stars in her eyes became a woman with a twinkle in her eye and the universe in her heart

(31/12/2016)

I was going to wait to write this but I felt the need and a burning desire to get it out and onto paper. It's not detailed, and it's open to interpretation, but why I wrote it is quite a personal reason and it was quite cathartic to write out.

It's almost midnight now, and fireworks have been going off for hours near me, which is only making me more excited for the New Year.

Happy New Year everyone! Onwards and Upwards to better things, and keep writing!

Meg